


Alive

by ExploringTheNight



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Chritsmas, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, SnowBaz, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5521925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExploringTheNight/pseuds/ExploringTheNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apparently Basilton Grimm-Pitch is awful at doing anything remotely romantic, so proposing to his boyfriend is a task on its own.</p>
<p>Just a SnowBaz Christmas fic set in the post-canon!verse where too much fluff is included for their own good.</p>
<p>For Fríða, Merry Christmas! <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alive

**Baz**

_When I was eleven years old I met a boy with curls in his hair and freckles which looked like stars that could make tiny constellations on his cheeks. Understanding the magic world that was new to him was all he wanted, for he was misunderstood by the human world. In fact, he was misunderstood by everyone.  
He was expected to save a world he just entered and was forced upon one too many overwhelming heroic labels for a boy whose hands shook when he first held a wand.  Four years later, the said boy and I were destined to end each other’s lives, living through our twisted fates as helplessly as we lived in the same room. He leaked with power and every ounce of magic flowed through his veins like blood, ready to kill me at any second. But there was something already killing me, eating away at my insides until I felt like I was deteriorating and I didn’t know whether I was alive or dead myself. Being in love with him was more painful than any magic could ever be-_

“Baz?!”  
“Wha-“ I snap back into reality, almost stumbling over my own two feet. I turn around to see Simon Snow himself with a bowl of popcorn cradled in one of his arms. He looks at me with an expression I can’t put a label on where his eyebrows knit into a frown. “You were staring at the Christmas tree for ages.” He sighs, picking away at the popcorn. “What were you thinking about?”

“Your awful decorating.” I scoff (lie), marching over to the sofa. (It’s true, Snow has the artistic ability of a three year old with crayons, but he insisted on at least decorating the tree this Christmas -which ended up looking like a failed art project, might I add- while I went and bought cinnamon scented candles along with other Christmas themed trinkets I could place around the apartment). I can’t actually tell him what I was thinking of though, especially since it was about how unbelievably in love with him I am. Embarrassing myself isn't my main priority today, thanks.  
I slouch down onto the sofa, feeling Simon’s pale blue eyes burn into my skin. He knows I’m worried about something, I've spent years - twenty three to be exact – hiding how I feel from everyone around me, creating a façade that somehow persuaded people into believing that I was cold and heartless, that it was _just the way I am._

But things never worked like that with Snow. I always had the feeling he just _knew_ something was wrong, like he had a sixth sense, and maybe that’s why I was unsure if I hated him or loved him during the fifth year, eventually deciding on the latter.  
Which brings me to where I am now: sharing an apartment with Simon Snow and enduring my heart banging against my chest loud enough for the neighbourhood to hear because of a tiny, velvet box in my jeans pocket.  
With a ring.  
I’m going to propose to Simon Snow.

 ***

Watching films with Snow isn't something out of the ordinary. In fact, it’s considered normal for us to sit here wrapped in blankets, so why am I so fucking on edge with him? I shouldn't be _this_ fixated on the way his chest moves when he breathes or how his laughter sounds like music whenever he giggles at the TV, for Crowley’s sake. I try to distract myself from Simon-fucking-Snow by taking some popcorn, but unfortunately for me, mine and Simon’s hands brush together as we both reach for the bowl, sending butterflies straight to my ribcage. _I need to get my shit together._

“You okay?” Simon whispers softly. How long was I zoned out for thinking about how much I love Simon’s scent of cheap soap and cherries? I don’t know how I’m going to answer him, because I am quite certainly not alright at all. In the end I just settle for, “Yeah.”

“Alright, sorry.” He mumbles to himself. That must have come out angrier than I wanted to, so I force myself closer to him until he puts his arm around me (because I’m also a huge softie).

 ***

We’re about three films into our Christmas movie marathon and the winter sun has been replaced by the moon, leaving the faint buzz of the TV screen as our only source of light.

I need to do it soon. The last time I spoke was around two hours ago - _and_ Snow’s becoming concerned - I know he is. Maybe after this film I’ll do it, or I’ll just let the floor swallow me up, I don’t know which option is easier.

What I do know is that I’m becoming more and more uneasy as time goes by. My fingers rapidly tap against my knee like I’m a drummer for a rock band and I can feel the velvet box in my jeans pocket press against my thigh like it’s pressuring me to do it. This is a bad idea, I know it is. Just _talking_ to him is going to be difficult because of the giant lump in my throat, and even my thoughts are becoming broken, like loose threads hanging around my mind.  
It doesn't help when Snow suddenly pauses whatever I was supposed to be watching because it scares the living shit out of me and I almost jump out of my seat.

“What is the matter with you, Baz?!” He almost shouts at me. As much as I want to answer with, “The fact that I don’t know how I’m going to ask you to marry me” I know I can’t. So I settle for something else instead.

“Nothing!” I beg, almost yelling at him to _stop_ because this is hard enough for me already. I must sound like a child to him.

“You've gone bright red, something must be up.” He almost deadpans, gesturing to my face. I slowly lift my hands up to feel my cheeks and of course they’re practically burning underneath my skin.

“I…I just had too much to eat today?” I try. I know it’s a bullshit excuse but if I’m going to have to play the vampire card anytime soon, I may as well play it now.

“Are you having a laugh?”

“As you can clearly see, I am finding this utterly hilarious.”

“Baz.” He presses, and I already feel terrible. “I hate seeing you like this. Please just tell me what you’re worried about”

“It’s just-it’s just that I-” I feel like an idiot. “I ne-I need to tell you that-“ I can’t say it. The words are stuck in the back of my throat like honey, thick and clumped. I’m embarrassing myself, I know I am. This was a bad idea all along.

“Hey.” He says slowly, in most silvery voice possible. “You don’t have to be afraid of anything, especially anything that’s about me. I love you, remember?”  
And there it is. Those words remind me that it’s only Simon Snow, the boy who religiously eats sour cherry scones, the boy who gets a little too happy when I call him by his first name – but most importantly – he’s the boy who I want to spend the rest of my stupid vampire life with. His eyes gaze into my own, breaking every wall I built over the past twenty three years. And I think I want to kiss him.  
But I can’t.  
Yet.  
I need to tell him everything.  
So I do.  
“It’s just that you mean the moon and the stars to me, Snow. You’re the most beautiful person I've ever met and I have loved you since we were fifteen. You’re everything to me and we’re the opposites in the most wonderful way possible.” I almost blurt everything out for it has been bottled inside me for years, collecting dust in the back on my mind. But now I know it’s time to pour that bottle down the sink and wear my heart on my fucking sleeve like the idiot I know I am.  
Somehow I manage to say everything slowly and clearly enough for Snow’s eyes to widen. I’m starting to think embarrassing myself was worth it.

“Where are you going with this?” he asks, dumbfounded that I said so much after hardly saying anything for the past few hours.

“I know exactly where I’m going with this.” I smirk, sliding to floor and positioning myself on one knee (gracefully, of course). “Simon Snow.” I begin, picking up an amount of confidence.

Simon’s eyes begin to well up, tiny teardrops forming on his waterline. He lifts his hands to cover his mouth, his cheeks turning into a soft shade of pink. I think I hear him gasp what sounds like “Aleister Crowley” under his breath as well.

“Will you marry me?”

“Y-yes!” Snow practically squawks. “I-I’ll marry you. _Please.”_ He stutters, droplets of water trickling down his cheeks.  I take the platinum ring out of its small, velvet box, diamonds lacing in the ring’s rim like ribbons and a huge, shining ruby presenting itself in front of Simon.

“It’s so beautiful!” He gasps, eagerly holding out his left hand.

“Yeah…I know.” I whisper under my breath, staring at him (because I _am_ a cringe-worthy fuck) and I slide the ring onto his finger.

He stares at it in awe for a while, admiring the way the ring looks on him until his blue eyes meet my grey, and he gives me the most broad, crooked smile in human history. I slide back onto the sofa and close the gap between us, meeting his soft lips.

“I love you.” He whispers to me. The butterflies in my ribs disappear and is replaced with a warm feeling inside, and I know I've never felt more alive in my life.

“I love you too.” I whisper back, feeling my mouth curve into a grin. “Now…” I try to say as seriously as possible. “About turning you into a vampire.” I smirk, sliding my tongue across my fangs for him to see.

“Wh-WHAT?!” He screams, almost jumping out of his seat, sending me into a huge fit of laughter. “You know what, I take that back. I don’t wanna marry you anymore. I was right all along, you’re evil!”

“Well that’s a shame, you’re stuck with me now.” I declare, mimicking an evil laugh afterwards.

“I hate you.”

“And I love you too.”

 

 

  
 

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo I guess this is my first SnowBaz fic...actually it's my first fic in general so I'm sorry for any writing mistakes. I wrote this for Fríða as a Christmas present so I really hope you enjoy it, Happy Christmas!! 
> 
> And since it's set in the post-canon verse I kinda came up with a headcanon where Penny moves to America so she can be with her boyfriend meaning that Baz moves in with Simon? Is this actually a canon-verse? Or is it an AU? Who knows.
> 
> Anyway if anyone else somehow comes across this then Merry Christmas to you too (unless its not Christmas, then I hope you're having a nice day)!


End file.
